Results.

I had a ct scan on my heart last week and ……. there has been absolutely NO CHANGE! Which is a big, heartfelt – PRAISE THE LORD! This is significant because in the five months (June ’10 – November ’10) there was a lot of growth/change in the aneurysms and aorta, but since November the test showed there has not been any growth in the aneurysms!

Thanking God for good test results. (and for faithful prayer warriors out there! Thank you!)

Make a Wish

Caren and the kids and I went for a walk yesterday at Lawrence Park to check out how high the river is and see the flooding. (But first we got Dilly Bars from DQ!)

When we got back to the car, I was wiping off Fin’s face and found an eyelash. I held it out to her and said “make a wish and then blow on your eyelash.” So, she closed her eye’s really tight and said, “I wish Geoffrey would have a baby and name her Finley.”

Then she opened her eyes and blew her eyelash off my finger and gave me a big grin and kiss. And she said, “well, I do, Geo!”

Sweet.

25 things

I got this awesome email from my sister Natalie the other day….thought I’d share!  =)

1.  You try to say one funny thing a day!
2.  That you will send a picture if you have a cute outfit on.
3.  You always have cute hair.
4.  I can always talk to you.
5.  Your honesty
6.  Best AUnt Ever!!
7.  Best sister ever
8.  Thoughtfulness
9.  Packages (When I was in college in one of my classes some of the other girls would have to see all the goods you would send)
10.  Great advice
11.  Supportive
12.  Wonderful friend
13.  Apple supporter whole heartedly
14.  Staunch republican
15.  Passionate about President Bush
16.  Your love for God
17.  You’re a fighter
18.  Knitting
19.  Coffee lover
20.  Organized
21.  Excellent cook
22.  Doesn’t complain
23.  Always has Oreos
24.  Drives (fast drives when mad)
25.  Karaoke (need I say more)

looking forward

Last week I posted this about the anxiety.  I mentioned that if I’m not blogging it’s usually because I’m completely overwhelmed by my circumstances.  Well, this past week that has been totally untrue.  The beginning of May started out really rough for me.  The transition from making a decision to move on, but mentally detaching from the past six months of waiting and the unknown was unusual.  I didn’t know how to move forward and plan my summer without having “surgery” always in the mix.  Well, finally I have been able to move on.  Even though the reality of four unfixable aortic aneurysms is in the back of my mind, my decisions and life will not revolve around that.

So, I’m planning on spending a few weeks in North Dakota in June and then hopefully a week or two in Minneapolis with friends.

Thinking about this Scripture today:

Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,tbut I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

Briar Says

**This is a post that I found in my drafts folder (from 5/2011)- it definitely needed to be published (2/11/2013). =) We just celebrated Briar’s 4th Birthday yesterday. Spent the whole day with her. That little girl has always had spunk. I love her.
Briar DSCN1903

Cute little things that Briar says (and the way she says them):

B: “I taaaant.” (extra whiney!)
what she’s saying: I can’t.
description: Almost anytime B is told to do something she answers this way. It’s so dramatic and cute (from an aunts perspective!).

B: “Tiss!”
what she’s saying: Kiss!

B: “I hug you, momma?”

B: “E help me?”
what she’s saying: You help me?

B: “Hem” or “Hemmy”
what she’s saying: Fin or Finley

B: “Mom pank my bunths.”
what she’s saying: Mom spanked my buns.

motivation

I’m pleased to announce that I finally found some. I know you’ve all been worried. So, I felt I should make an announcement. Things are lookin’ up!

Thanks for the continued prayers and support. Still lovin’ all of you.

{prayer requests…a good appetite, continued motivation and energy! thanks!}

anxiety in the unknown

My dad left me a message at 7:30 one morning two weeks ago – concerned that I hadn’t blogged since 4.13 – “something must be wrong if you’re not blogging.” HAHA! I love my Dad!

I guess there is some truth to that though.  The past few weeks – though fun stuff has happened – have been full of anxiety when dealing with surgery related stress.  It is always there lurking in the back of my mind.  Most days – it consumes me.

I’ve been crabby and annoyed this week.  I find that I don’t want to blog because I really don’t have anything nice to say most of the time….and you know the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  Or the Steel Magnolias version, “If you don’t have anything nice to say – come sit by me!”  Which is more in the way of my feeling lately.  Misery loves company.  I have been very adamant since starting this blog that I want it to be as transparent, honest and real as possible.  But lately many of my emotions and feelings are in the way of discouraged, raw, full of anxiety, sad….reading a blog full of those emotions could get old, fast.  I don’t want to be a “debbie downer,” but I also want to be real.

I have to make some decisions.  This cannot go on forever.  It just can’t.  I did talk to my cardiologist’s office and they continue to call Johns Hopkins daily, but have had NO response to emails or phone calls.  As maddening and frustrating as the lack of communication is – I can’t ignore that maybe there is some significance in that.  Something this urgent isn’t usually ignored for days, weeks, months….

I have decided to go ahead and plan my next few months.  It’s easy to say that, but it’s been really tough to mentally detach and move forward from the past months of uncertainty.  My life has been put on hold and I am not sure how to move forward.

I am making the best decision I can with all the facts I have been given….

To be continued….

{maybe}  🙂