motivation

or lack of.

it seems the past few days/weeks i have had absolutely no motivation to get things done: cleaning, work, finishing projects.  i’m tired.  i have palpitations at least three-four days a week -which is nothing new, but they can be exhausting.

i had to re-tell the whole past five months to a medicaid nurse the other day.  that took a lot out of me.  it doesn’t seem real to rehash the past events.  i’m in awe that we’re all been living this.  i have had such big lows. i have also had a few big highs.

i’m really frustrated that i’m so stuck. i get that god has a plan, but somedays that truth doesn’t make things “easier.” i’m a planner. i like to plan things to look forward to.  without hearing from johns hopkins i can’t plan.  i hate that. i despise that.  i want to plan my summer. i desperately want this to be over so i can live it up and enjoy life.

i’ve had patience.  i’m not sure what i have now, but it certainly doesn’t qualify as patience.

two things that i am looking fwd to:
1. sushi with the girls tomorrow!  2. gjovig’s visit next weekend!

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