or lack of.
it seems the past few days/weeks i have had absolutely no motivation to get things done: cleaning, work, finishing projects. i’m tired. i have palpitations at least three-four days a week -which is nothing new, but they can be exhausting.
i had to re-tell the whole past five months to a medicaid nurse the other day. that took a lot out of me. it doesn’t seem real to rehash the past events. i’m in awe that we’re all been living this. i have had such big lows. i have also had a few big highs.
i’m really frustrated that i’m so stuck. i get that god has a plan, but somedays that truth doesn’t make things “easier.” i’m a planner. i like to plan things to look forward to. without hearing from johns hopkins i can’t plan. i hate that. i despise that. i want to plan my summer. i desperately want this to be over so i can live it up and enjoy life.
i’ve had patience. i’m not sure what i have now, but it certainly doesn’t qualify as patience.
two things that i am looking fwd to:
1. sushi with the girls tomorrow! 2. gjovig’s visit next weekend!